


Lost and Found

by steelneena



Series: CR 2 Oneshots and Short Series [17]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Calianna's letter, Fix-It, Gen, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 03:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20075350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelneena/pseuds/steelneena
Summary: Jester has to respond to Calianna eventually, and the news she has to impart isn't good. But a lot of time passes when you're waiting for snail mail, and sometimes, just sometimes, it's long enough that the bad news is irrelevant.





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meridas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meridas/gifts).

> For Ali. As always. My best prompter.

Jester hadn’t expected a letter back so soon. Really, it was a shock that it mades it to them at all, considering everything that had been going on, but now that Caleb was able to project them a few places with his magical circles and all, they made it back to see her mother more often than before. When she’d written, she tried her hardest not to cry, but the paper still ended up blotted (she hadn’t wanted to ask Caleb to spare any more than necessary) and she sent it off as-was.

_I am really so sorry to tell you that Molly and Yasha – _

She remembered the words almost perfectly. It had taken a very long time to write it, to get it just the way she wanted. Just the way she needed.

\- _that Molly and Yasha aren’t with us anymore. It was very sad, you see, because Molly…_

She’d half chewed the pen’s end to nothing before finally saying that Yasha and Molly left shortly after they met Cali. In the end, she couldn’t bring herself to say what had really happened. To recount something she hadn’t even been present to witness. Not really, at least. A very, very small part of her was all too glad that she hadn’t. As to Yasha, well… that was exceptionally raw.

After the package had arrived, none of them had talked about it. About how they were missing two pieces of their whole. Of the acute ache that looking at those names, written so cheerily had brought. None of them ever talked. Jester understood that, of course. It was easier, sometimes, if she just pretended. But now, with Yasha gone, that was harder to do. Harder to ignore.

She couldn’t just pretend that Molly was away anymore.

Away instead of dead.

With a heavy heart, Jester opened the letter. Trepidation rested in her chest, that deep seated place where all her fears and sadnesses accumulated until they were all too much. It was getting near that point. Near to bursting. The world was a lot more depressing than she’d hoped, so long ago when she finally took her first steps into it. But it couldn’t burst. She wouldn’t let it. She was _Jester_ after all.

And so, she planned to read Cali’s latest letter alone. So that, if Cali had realized, or if she wrote something that fell a little too close to home, no one would see her crying.

_Dear Miss Jester, _

_Just a little before I got your letter, something amazing happened! I was glad you sent it, because otherwise, I’d have ended up sending you two letters in a row without one from you in the middle, and I wouldn’t want you to think I was overeager. It’s only, well, I have really wonderful news! _

_You see, just two days before your letter arrived to my address in Port Demali, I met someone on the road! I was terribly surprised to see Mister Molly –_

Jester’s breath caught and she practically screeched. The tears trailing down her cheeks were altogether different ones than she’d anticipated before. Rapidly, she returned to her place in the letter, nearly bouncing from excitement.

_-Mister Molly alone in the road, especially when I found out that none of the rest of you were nearby! You see, he’s been looking for you desperately! You wrote in your letter that he had to leave…I would have believed you except that Mister Molly thinks he died again (He said again, and I can’t say I’m not awfully curious, but I thought it would be impolite to ask.). Thank you for trying to spare my feelings, but I’d really like to be able to tell Mister Molly the truth about Yasha at least – did she…? I really hope not, but he’d terribly worried about her and has been very upset that it might be a possibility. He says he doesn’t think that she can ‘come back’ like he does. _

_Anyways, I’m passing along a message from Mister Molly, as he asks that you stop moving around so much, because it’s making it very hard to find you. At first, he thought that you’d be in Zadash, but you weren’t and he got bored of waiting and made his way elsewhere, but got turned around heading to Nicodranas and ended up here in Port Damali by accident. At least, it was a happy accident, because now we’re together and I can tell you that he’s here! With me! Safe and alive, but very eager to be back with all of you, his friends. _

_So, if you wouldn’t mind coming round here, if you’re able, to get him, that would be really lovely! And if you can’t make it here, can you tell us a place where he might go, so that you can get him? _

_But you wrote so much more, and I need to address that, too! Although, since I’m hoping to see you in person again quite soon, I’ll make this short and save some of what I have to say for when I can say it in person! I’m glad to hear that everyone else is doing well and that they liked their presents. I was a little nervous that you might not, just because, well, I didn’t know you all very well and they weren’t anything very special. _

_I’m also very glad to know that Nott’s name is Nott and not Knot or Bren, and that she is an adult and not related to Mister Fjord, which was very confusing, and I know that you said it is complicated, so I’ll wait for seeing her to ask any questions, save for wondering why she felt the need to lie to me. _

_Mister Molly also said that he doesn’t actually worship the Platinum Dragon, and I’m starting to get the idea that I may not know any of you even a little at all, although he reassured me that he thinks that was the real extent of any lies and that it was never meant maliciously. _

_I’m glad to, to hear that Mister Caleb liked his letter. He made me think quite a lot and I hope that I’ve been able to make him think too. _

_You have a new friend! He sounds very nice and I hope that I can meet him, too. It’s so nice that you consider me your friend, and that you remembered me at all. _

_Please, write back soon, so that we can make arrangements. _

_Yours, _

_Calianna_

_P.S. I hope that any tear marks you leave on your return letter are happy ones, this time. I’ve also enclosed a letter I transcribed for Mister Molly to all of you. _

Tossing Cali’s pages onto the bed beside her, Jester prised open the other letter which was sealed in wax.

_Dear Mighty Nein (I’m glad to know how that is spelled, as well. Is it Zemnian? – Calianna), _

_I’m alive! Surprise! And I’m bored out of my (Molly said something bad here. He does that a lot. I’ll omit them, but you can probably fill in the blanks – Calianna) mind, so please come get me quickly. Where the ---- are you? I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Cali said something about Yasha being gone. She’s just Yasha’d off, right? She’s not dead, is she? She didn’t leave you all because I went up and _ \----- _died, did she? Or did Lorenzo… I just need to know, alright? _

_Come get me soon. _

_Molly_

Sobbing, Jester ran from the room, brandishing the notes in her hands, she brushed past Beau, whose only response was to turn as she did, arms raised.

“The fuck?” she said, before following after Jester, up, up the spiral stair to Caduceus’ tower, beneath the tree where the rest were sat.

“Cali!” she choked out between happy crying and half laughter Letter! _Molly!_”

When she looked up, a circle of concerned faces stared back.

“Cali wrote a letter,” she managed, after gasping a few breaths. “It’s Molly. He’s _alive._”

~

They’re there, they’re waiting. They’ve _been _waiting.

For hours.

Four of them, to be exact, by Caleb’s count at least. Jester asked.

Beau’d thought about grousing, but somehow, Nott did it for her.

“Why aren’t they here yet? What’s happened? What if it’s something bad? What if we lose him again before we even get him back?”

Sometimes, Beau wondered if Nott was what it was like to have a parent that actually gave a shit about you.

She and Caleb were sat next to one another at the table, though Caleb was sitting properly. As was her wont, Beau was leaning back in the chair, her legs crossed at the ankles and propped on the table. Nearby, Fjord and Caduceus were sitting on the floor with Luc, petting Nugget while Yeza attempted to calm down his wife. Jester was on the counter, her legs swinging back and forth anxiously, heels hitting the wood in a drumming rhythm.

It was slowing and methodically driving Beauregard up the fucking wall.

But then, every sound, every movement, every thing was jacked up, heightened, ten times worse because that’s how it always was when she had to play a waiting game. And no waiting game meant more than this one.

Not one.

Beside her, she finally noticed a tick from Caleb, his finger beginning to drum softly on the meat of his thigh as he stared straight ahead, only his lips moving in tiny increments. If he was actually speaking consciously, Beau didn’t know, but it was clear that she, Nott and Jester weren’t the only anxious ones.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine, honey,” Yeza was saying to No-Veth, because here, she was Veth, after all, in her halfling-self guise. “I’m sure they’re just down the road. They’ve never been here before, so maybe they got a little turned around. It’ll be fine.”

“I just worry.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s okay to be worried.”

Even though the words weren’t to her, they leave Beau bristling.

It’s not okay to be worried.

Worrying _sucks ass hard_.

Worrying means caring, and well, Beau knew all too well that she’d grown to care far too much, at least by Dairon’s measure. But then, Dairon hadn’t seemed at all sure of herself the last time Beau saw her. And fuck it, if Beau didn’t want more than _anything_ for that _absolute asshole_ to waltz his way through the door, coat sashaying ostentatiously behind him, tail flicking as dangerously as Frumpkin’s.

Stuffing her fingers into one of her many pockets, Beauregard found the smooth worn edges of Molly’s tarot deck, and, just to the side of it, his belt, rolled up and tied off, and there, at the bottom, of course, the necklace that Cali had sent him.

Waiting.

Burning like hot lead where they lay against her hip.

“Hey, Caleb maybe –“

But Beau never got to finish her sentence because the doors of the Lavish Chateau burst open and the sudden anslaught of light blinded her just long enough to obscure the figures that walked in. Blinking wildly, Beau pushed back her seat in harmony with Caleb as the room quieted and stilled.

“You _fuckers!_ You’re here! Gods, am I glad to finally see-“

It was Mollymauk, of course.

Before Beau even realized what she was doing, she was beside him, arms wrapping around in a deathly tight hug, pulling away just as fast. Only when it came to her that she’d actually focused her abilities in order to get to him, did Beau curl her hand into a fist and sock him lightly on the shoulder.

“We’re fuckers? You’re the fucker!”

From the background, the small, halfling voice of Luc piped up “You’re the fucker!” which was quickly followed by a chorus of groans and a quick comeback on both No-Veth and Yeza’s part that he should never repeat a word Beau said because she was crass.

Beau barely heard it for the joyous, sparkling laugh that fell like a waterfall, gracefully and artfully, from Molly’s lips, and she looked up to see light and life, shining in eyes that haunted her nights, dark and dull, the red of fresh blood.

The world stilled around her as her gaze dropped to his shirt – which wasn’t covered by the constant presence of his gaudy-ass coat, oddly enough – which was open just enough for her to see the thick, ridged and silver scar that vivisected his chest and sternum. Her hand reached out and pulled away in the same instant, a movement from behind him catching her eye.

Calianna, waving.

“Hello everyone!”

It was at around that point that Beau felt herself pushed out of the way so Jester could lift Molly into a tight embrace, the others crowding around for their chance as well. Stepping aside to greet Cali, Beau saw that all save Caleb (and Yeza, Luc, and Caduceus, of course, who didn’t know him) were in Molly’s immediate circle.

Caleb came up beside Beau and nodded to Cali, a small smile on his face. “Danke. For the letter. And the wand. And for…ja.” He waved a hand in Molly’s direction.

“Yeah, man, it’s good to see you,” Beau said, over the din of voices and sobbing, landing a hand on Cali’s shoulder.

Cali beamed.

It only took a minute’s divergence of attention for Beau to miss a lot. Molly was already calling Nott Veth, without missing a beat, and slapping a hand on the small of Caduceus’ back with a suggestive comment that went right over the firbolg’s head, and Jester hadn’t stopped hugging his arm. At the moment, Fjord appeared to be scratching his head, a look of discomfort and shame flashing across his face as Molly queried the friends about his ‘beloved sword’.

Caleb too, it appeared, was loath to break into the group, standing stiffly to the side until Molly turned and looked him dead in the eye.

“Well hello beautiful! My my Mister Caleb, do you ever clean up nicely!”

Beau had never seen Caleb’s pale skin much of any other shade than a delicate pink, and certainly not the vibrant red that was almost as bold as to match his hair.

“Danke Mister Mollymauk.”

And somehow, the tension uncoiled from Beau’s stomach, and, for once in a very long time, despite the burning itch in her eyes, despite the war, and the Laughing Hand, and their missing Yasha, all felt right with the world.


End file.
